butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
