Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
