Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
