Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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