That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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