Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.

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(540): View more from Virginia

hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(831): View more from California

My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

(615): View more from Tennessee

My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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(207): View more from Maine

Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering

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(206): View more from Washington

Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?

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(915): View more from Texas

I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right

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