she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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