what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
