Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I enjoy the company of your penis
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
