So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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