Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
