my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
