i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
