question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
