i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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