Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
