I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
