Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
