i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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