:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
