carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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