I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I still have a little drunk in my system
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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