I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
MIDGETS
????
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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