All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
