Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Jerry, you need to find god
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
