I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
