Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she peed on how many people?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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