It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
