he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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