im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
