good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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