This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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