Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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