So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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