We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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