after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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