Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
