This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
