So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
