What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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