i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
