dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
