i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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