I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
