If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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