I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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