So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
