I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
