Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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