i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
