Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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