i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
