You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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