we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
