also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Terrible idea I love it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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