I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Randomize
