I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
