I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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