Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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