singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
