this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
only if we run a train.
done.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
3pm strippers are depressing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize