You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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