I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
