Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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