every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
