is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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