So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
