Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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